She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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