im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
