the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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