is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
