omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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