do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
