for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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