two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He kissed a someone with a penis
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize