wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
