sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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