no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
