I look better un-naked...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
