She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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