someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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