Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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