She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
