did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm getting married
To pizza
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
