I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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