i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
