so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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