Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
