My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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