if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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