I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize