i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
