Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
