I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
