I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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