She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
