I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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