I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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