I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
