Sry I called you an 8
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
