It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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