The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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