Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I got inside last night via doggy door
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
