I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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