using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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