After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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