Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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