they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
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Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
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Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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