someone get that fucking seahorse.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
