i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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