I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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