Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize