I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Randomize
