did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize