Me too!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
