I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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