Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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