THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize