Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
