Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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