Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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