I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
