I'm so fucking centered right now
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.