whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.